Blackbird
A Mother’s Reflections on Grief, Loss, and Life After Suicide
Told in a stream-of-consciousness style that reflects the chaos of grief, Blackbird is an affecting memoir.
Betsy Thibaut Stephenson’s grief-filled memoir Blackbird is about the loss of her son.
Stephenson’s youngest child, Charlie, died by suicide while attending Texas Christian University. A few months before his death, it had become apparent that Charlie was battling depression. A friend, thinking that Charlie might harm himself, reached out to his family. His parents heeded the warning signs—his mother immediately flew to Texas to help her son. Charlie revealed to his mother that he took advantage of counseling on campus. He even promised that he would not hurt himself.
After returning home, Stephenson wrote her son a letter of encouragement, checked in with him daily, and reminded him that was loved. Still, though he had many lifelines, mental illness overcame him in the end. His family was traumatized, feeling that “depression killed Charlie.”
Herein, Stephenson’s raw reflections pair with expressions of commitment to combating stigmas surrounding depression and mental illness. The book explores the best methods for approaching feelings of intense anger and sadness following a suicide, saying “I’m not mad at him, not even a little bit. He was sick. But I’m really pissed at this disease. Depression killed my son and it blew up my life.” Indeed, the book works to distinguish between depression as a disease and the people whom it impacts.
The narrative makes use of symbols and metaphors to contrast joyful family memories with Stephenson’s daily struggle to navigate life after the death of her child. The deceased learned to play the Beatles’ ballad “Blackbird” on the guitar to honor his maternal grandfather. The blackbird is employed as the chief symbol of the memoir, illustrating Charlie’s love of music and his bond with his mother. For Stephenson, “Music has become a sacred ribbon that links my sad self to Charlie’s spirit.” The blackbird symbolism reveals the enduring power of memories within the context of grief.
The memoir is divided into four sections that cover the events leading up to Charlie’s death, the family’s resulting turmoil, Stephenson’s retreat from the outside world, and life after losing a loved one. Told in a stream-of-consciousness style that reflects the chaos of grief, the text covers every aspect of Stephenson’s daily routine. The section themes unite Stephenson’s various thoughts, feelings, memories, and experiences, as when “Disbelief” describes both accepting the reality of Charlie’s suicide and Stephenson’s acceptance of her own experience of depression. Nonetheless, within the context of Stephenson’s daily experience, there are sporadic observations that are so specific—as when Stephenson stares at her puppy or when a massage therapist comments on her fingers—that they depart from the general focus on the common experience of grief to distracting effect.
Blackbird is a mother’s unbridled memoir on loss, grief, and depression as well as on practical strategies for healing.
Reviewed by
Paige Soto
Disclosure: This article is not an endorsement, but a review. The publisher of this book provided free copies of the book and paid a small fee to have their book reviewed by a professional reviewer. Foreword Reviews and Clarion Reviews make no guarantee that the publisher will receive a positive review. Foreword Magazine, Inc. is disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.
