Choosing Love
What LGBTQ+ Christians Can Teach Us All About Relationships, Inclusion, and Justice
Choosing Love is a wise, meditative book about the transformative power of connecting with LGBTQ+ Christians.
Featuring interviews with dozens of LGBTQ+ Christians alongside thoughtful perspectives on the Bible and theology, this book delivers an inclusive, compassionate message. Grounded in Martin Buber’s concept of the I-thou relationship, the book asserts that authentic connections occur when “armor” falls away and people are “touched at the core.” Its subjects include Darren, a gay Black man in Chicago who lived in a church sanctuary for four years to exorcise the “demon” of homosexuality; he now provides social justice training. Kai, who uses the Hawaiian third gender, māhū, describes how they sacrificed intimacy with others, seeing same-sex intimacy as incompatible with Christianity. Affirming communities of Christians helped both break cycles of abuse, accept “who God made them to be,” and forge positive relationships.
The book questions the traditional biblical interpretations that are used to condemn homosexuality. For instance, it asserts that God destroyed Sodom for its arrogance and indifference, not for homosexuality. In the gospels, Jesus cites only the sexual sins of remarrying after divorce and looking lustfully at women, admonishments most relevant to heterosexual men, it notes.
When Christians interact with LGBTQ+ people, they often get it wrong, the book suggests. For instance, an evangelical focus on saving souls from eternal damnation implies that God’s love is conditional. Similarly, when Christians see LGBTQ+ people as having a “disordered” capacity for sexual or romantic love, they foster shame and demonstrate hubris. However, when Christians get it right, with genuine love and affirmation, the experience is transformational: “True relationships call on you to sacrifice your power, authority, and worldview, your insistence on your own virtue, your sense of self as central.”
Choosing Love is a timely theology text that approaches LGBTQ+ communities with grace and insight.
Reviewed by
Kristen Rabe
Disclosure: This article is not an endorsement, but a review. The publisher of this book provided free copies of the book to have their book reviewed by a professional reviewer. No fee was paid by the publisher for this review. Foreword Reviews only recommends books that we love. Foreword Magazine, Inc. is disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.
